"I said ham hock! Ham HOCK!"

We’ve had a couple more sessions of our Four Islands Runequest game. After making a safe camp last time, we carried on looking for the rebel city.

On the way, we discovered a field of sheep which my elf companion decided to butcher. No XP earned. While butchering, he fell down a hole in the ground, and met a hermit in a cave who gave us directions to the rebel city, as we had gotten lost (again).

Leaving (some of) the sheep alone, we made our way along a cliff edge to the city. Dangling off the edge of the cliff were two iron cages, occupied. One contained a thief who’d been caught by the ogres and the other contained the rigger on the SS Shagnasty (our ship). The rigger is played by a new member of our group (fresh blood…). We (and by we I mean mostly the Dwarf) managed to pull the cages up, smash them open with a rock, and rescue the prisoners. Any enemy of the ogres is an ally, we say. We also salvaged some of the iron to take to the city with us.

Arriving in the city clad in furs, carrying savage weapons, we made our way to the guy in charge. We were shown to the regent who gave us a brief overview of the situation – these are the rebels, the rebel king is away on the frontier fighting against the ogres, and we were pointed to a blacksmith who can give us some better equipment. The Ogres had captured Captain Rengrave and the young king of the Bretons and although no-one knew where the boy was, the captain (my character’s father) was being forced to help build ships for the Ogres. We were also given a guide (human, a returning player) to help us get to the ogre capital and find our way around there.

The blacksmith was almost entirely incompetent, and managed to flub a lot of the iron that we gave him to fashion into better weapons. For this reason, I had to a work for a day in the fields to try and pay off the longsword I requested but the first attempts gave me a war boomerang instead. The other guys got similarly rotten luck producing simple weapons and arrowheads.

While I worked, the other guys went to a pub, where they started (inadvertently) a brawl. The Dwarf took the part of Vin Diesel, kicking arse and not spilling a drop. Our elf ended up more like Benny Hill, being slid across the bar, hitting his head at the end and upsetting an Ogre eating a ham hock. Which we misheard to tragically comical effect. Our GM is the greatest, and this became a part of the story now and battered pig penis is apparently an Ogre delicacy. The Ogre and his wife attacked the elf, while our rigger was distracted trying to pick up a barstool as an improvised weapon (it was bolted to the floor) and the guide picked up a table and threw it across the room. Thinking that it might get out of hand (fighting is one thing but murder is another), I figured out that my day in the fields must be almost over and started my way back. When I finally got there, I passed a few lucky Orate rolls and got everything moved on (with the help of the new, slightly greenish longsword I picked up on the way home).

A quick pint and a rest, then back to the Regent to secure a boat to go and see the rebel king on our way to the Ogre capital. We were given a serviceable yacht, and ended the session having safely landed near the rebel encampment.

When we rejoined the game after Christmas, we were met at the camp by Lord Jubrox – a Breton regent who advised us of the current political situation. The ‘rebel’ king, King Rulf, was an Ogre and the rightful king of the Ogres. He’s not very Ogrish, however – too short, too weak, not a martial person at all. And he’s quite sensitive about it. It was decided by the ruling court to pass over him for succession and instead crown his younger brother, who exemplified the physical properties and attitudes of the Ogres. Hence, the rebel king and the war. We were then allowed to see the King. We were also told about the rebel Ogre General Gabrax.

We explained the situation – we want to recover my father and the Breton boy king. During this audience, we noted that Lord Jubrox doesn’t appear to be happy about the Breton king being a boy. We asked the king for any supplies to try and accomplish our goals, since freeing the captain would deprive the enemy of shipbuilding skills and freeing the boy would get some goodwill with the Bretons. He was unable to spare anything; most of the fighters we saw were human, not Ogre, and they were a raised militia rather than trained soldiers. The King indicated that we can keep anything that we find in a cave nearby being used by bandits, who both the ruling king and the rebel king were too busy to deal with. He also had a plan for us to get into the capital, possibly assassinate his brother and rescue the prisoners.

We struck out for the bandit camp, and I attempted to snipe them from afar with my long bow. I kept missing, and missing, and missing, and when they came closer to find me they were jumped by the rigger and the Dwarf (the only others who could attend this session). We finished them off easily, and I learned that the ‘greenish tinge’ on my long sword was an acid effect which grants disruption – a Runequest term for immediately and permanently destroying armour. If I don’t get through it the first time, it’ll be easier to get through the second time.

Time pressures meant that we had to leave it there for the evening. Next time, we’ll be attempting to assault the cave and hopefully have more players to help!

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